Brothers Shouldn't Feel Like This
by Meda Princess
Summary: They really shouldn't, but they did. So now they must try to find acceptance in a world that only knows how to condemn.
1. They Would Say It's Wrong, I Don't Care

**_Brothers Shouldn't Feel Like This_**

**Rating:** T+

**Summary:** They really shouldn't, but they did. Follow the twins' story as they try to find acceptance in a world that only knows how to condemn.

Yes, I've finally hoped the fence over to the KouKou fangirlsism side. *bangs head against wall while the twins plot my murder in the background* I was borderline to begin with, and I've decided I do actually like it. I wouldn't go so far as 'fangirl' (yet) but I'll admit I'm a fan. Though at first I wasn't sure if I was going to write this, I started writing it in my head the night before last and decided 'okay, yeah, let's write it.' And since I've plotted out a good chunk of the story and I want to get it down before I lose it, this will be most likely all I update for a while.

First segment is taken from the last episode, then the rest is all post cannon.

And to Felicity: Enjoy the KouKou puffs! :3 (That still sounds weird)

* * *

_If love knows no bounds and the heart cannot be fenced, why is it so wrong to love your own flesh and blood…?_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 1: They Would Say It's Wrong, I Don't Care**

He knew then – no, he'd probably known before that, when they first met even, but without really knowing. He'd known an empty void within him had been filled when he heard their supposed enemy claim to be his brother. Now having seen his brother die before his eyes – twice almost – then be brought back to life, he knew. He also knew that a brother shouldn't feel like this. But, nevertheless, he did. He knew people would call it 'wrong' and other fouler names but, strangely, he found he didn't really care. His emotions were his alone and, no matter what anyone said, what he felt wasn't either right or wrong – it just was.

And least that's what he convinced himself to believe as he held his brother tightly, the tears of sheer joy and relief and the pure incredulity of the moment streaming down his cheeks.

* * *

"Koji…"

The word was soft, muffled.

"Koji."

Still muffled, but louder this time.

He pressed a hand to the other's chest, gently pushing away. The younger sighed, his breath cascading over the elder's face, and let himself be pushed away. The hand slid to the lap of the person it belonged to. Koji stared at his brother expectantly, pretty sure he knew what would come next.

"We really shouldn't…" Koichi said softly, not making eye contact.

Koji sighed again. Just what he'd expected. This wasn't the first time his brother had said those words, and probably wouldn't be the last. Even after two months… "Why?" Koji posed the question, just to see how the elder would answer.

Koichi blinked in surprise. This was the first time his twin had asked why; the usual response would have been, 'It doesn't matter.' Though, faced with the question, only one answer came to mind, so that's what ended up coming out.

"Because…it's wrong…"

Koji flinched slightly at the words, though not enough to be visibly noticeable. He was good at that. Most would never notice his changing emotions from the outside, as now; he felt the small twinge of pain but didn't let it show in his face, and only slightly in the words he spoke. It had been the answer he most expected but, nevertheless, he'd hoped his twin would have a different one.

"So, what I feel, what we feel, is wrong…?"

"N-no, I didn't—" But the elder stopped abruptly, realizing that while that may not have been what he'd meant, that's what the words implied. He fell silent, his eyes trained on the floor.

The younger sighed once again. "Emotions have no right or wrong label; what you feel or don't isn't right or wrong – it just is. Society is what places the labels on everything, and frankly, society's stupid," Koji scoffed.

Koichi looked back up at his twin, an understanding smile turning up the corners of his mouth. He wouldn't deny that he agreed with the statement, but that didn't change the fact that society – whether it should or not – had a lot of control over the lives of those who lived in it, whether they wanted to or not.

"'Love knows no bounds,'" Koji continued before the elder could respond, quoting an unknown and/or forgotten source, "and yet people still try to put a fence around it and say you can love this, but not this. It's so stupid!" he exhaled in exasperation, allowing himself to fall back on the bed the two sat on.

Koichi grinned again. This wasn't the first time he'd been subjected to one of Koji's 'society's stupid' tangents, although this time it was related to the subject. Sometimes the younger's rants strayed so far by the time he was done, the twins weren't even sure what the original topic had been.

"And they call it a crime against nature!" Koji ranted on. "Hello? Most of us were born this way. I don't think nature would create something that was a 'crime' against itself. Do you?" he then asked, turning his eyes to his twin above him.

Koichi merely shook his head. He didn't really disagree with anything his brother was saying. "But still…the rest of the world doesn't see it that way. They'd—"

"I don't care," the younger snapped, but not harshly, cutting the elder off and sitting up again to look his twin in the eye. "What I care about is my tongue in your mouth."

The blunt statement accomplished it goal, as Koichi blushed rather darkly, quickly averting his eyes downward again and taking refuge behind his overgrown bangs. Koji smirked, placing a hand under his twin's chin and gently turning the elder's face to look at him again.

"But…if anyone found out…" Koichi began again meekly.

"They're not going to." Koji brushed a few misplaced raven bangs aside and pressed a kiss to the elder's forehead, before pulling back and saying softly but firmly, "I love you, Koichi. Nothing anyone says or does is going to change that."

"And, damn, you look hot like that," he added under his breath so his twin didn't hear.

"But- but the others have already started to suspect that something's going on," Koichi protested.

Koji began to reply, but then the twins heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Koji growled softly under his breath, pulling his legs up under him and turning around on the bed, so he was facing the opposite wall, before letting his legs dangle over the side again and flopping back on his back. Koichi quickly looked around for something to busy himself with, willing the blush to subside. Eyeing a book sitting on the dresser, he grabbed that and opened it to a random page just before the twins' father open the door.

"Hey, what are you two doing up here?" he asked in that fatherly way.

"Nothing much," was Koji's feigned bored replied. 'Feigned' because he was, in actuality, annoyed with the intrusion. But fathers will be fathers.

Kousei gave his sons a teasing grin. "Care to let me in on what that 'nothing much' is?"

_Not really_, Koji thought._ Now could you leave? You're kind of interrupting._ Of course, that was something he'd rather his father didn't know.

Koichi looked up from the book he hadn't been reading. "It's really nothing of importance," he said with a convincing pleasant smile.

Their father studied the elder for a moment, before grinning. "Alright. Bed in an hour," Kousei told them before leaving again.

Koichi let out an audible sigh once the door was securely shut again. "What is this?" he then wondered out loud as he looked down at the book again with a puzzled expression, turning back to the cover. _The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn._ He cocked an eyebrow, but before he could ask, the book was plucked from his hands and set back on the table, a rather seductive grin on the younger twin's face.

"Now, where were we?" he asked mildly, before a brief "oh, yeah…" and leaning in towards his brother.

"Koji—!" the elder began to protest, but nonetheless didn't fight as their lips melded together again, the younger's tongue probing into his mouth.

* * *

And there you have it. Chapter one of the reason the twins want to kill me, and why I'm hiding in the closet so they can't. And I feel there are some things to explain:

1) The twins' conversation about love – Koji, you could say, represents my idealistic side and the beliefs I hold while Koichi is my practical side reminding me, and his twin, how the world really works. *shrugs* That's just how it came out.

2) _Huckleberry Finn_ because that's what we're reading in English class. No other reason.

3) I honestly didn't put much thought into their personalities before deciding the sides of the relationship. It just kinda ended up the way it did. And I can't really see Koichi being seme… *bangs head against keybord* God…I'm a fangirl! Say it ain't so!

4) This is taking longer to write than Misleading Conversations, mainly, I think, because I'm being a bit more particular about the details in this and keep rewording it 'til I know I've got it right. Yeah, less spur-of-the-moment writing; more planning.

5) Oh yeah, Koji's "tangents" – I do that a lot.

6) The italicized quote at the top – Kind of a focus/theme of the story.

I'm hoping I can get the next chapter out by the end of this week. I've been practically living in this story. It shouldn't be too hard. ;)


	2. Words Whispered in the Dark

Yeah, so much for fast updates…

To Angelique: Hello, my feathered birdie friend! =D Lovely to hear from you! (Which reminds me, I still need to finish that picture. *bangs head against wall* You might get it by next Christmas… *huge sweatdrop*) You have no idea how much your review made me laugh. And yes, I was converted to Takuji or Kokuya (whichever you want to call it), so now it's my turn to convert someone! =3

Yes, I suppose I'll be one of the first to know. A random message in all caps, perhaps? =3

Potatoes. *gives you a superior/cocky smirk*

And now, for all of you, I present: chapter two! Enjoy! ^^

* * *

_If love knows no bounds and the heart cannot be fenced, why is it so wrong to love your own flesh and blood…?_

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 2: Words Whispered in the Dark**

Koichi lay awake in the bed. Koji had already long ago drifted off to sleep. That's how it always was; once the lights were out, the younger easily slipped into a peaceful slumber, while the elder lay awake surrounded by his element. The call of the dark, though certainly not an audible sound, kept the former Warrior of Darkness from sleeping for at least another hour. Koji would be up bright and early – responding to the call of his own element, light – ready to face the day; Koichi would have to be practically drug out of bed, groggily stumbling around and hanging onto his twin so he didn't fall down the stairs if they were at their father's.

The elder shifted under the blankets, turning around to face his brother behind him. Koji lie on his side, hair loose and falling in his face, his arms tucked against his chest. Koichi smiled softly. Asleep, any and all of his brother's masks slipped away, revealing the vulnerable 12 year old that lie beneath. Of course, Koichi was usually able to see through the masks anyway, but not needing to look through them was nice. If there was one thing the elder liked about still being awake late into the night, it was this chance to see the younger's pure, unshielded face.

He reached out, brushing a thumb over his twin's lips, then over his soft cheek, and pushing the long raven locks behind his ear, before finally pressing a gentle kiss to his twin's lips.

"I love you too…"

Words whispered in the dark. In the dark, where he felt safe enough to say them. Where they could say hidden from the rest of the world.

* * *

Koji awoke the next morning unsurprised to find himself snuggled up in his brother's arms. Groaning softly, he reluctantly rolled away from the warm embrace, twisting around to look at the digital clock sitting on the bedside table. 8:10.

It was Saturday; the twin's father wouldn't bother them until 9:00. Scratch that – 8:30. They were meeting their friends in the park this morning, and from there they were heading to check out the new carnival that had settled in. But that still left him with 20 minutes, so Koji rolled back over towards his twin, studying his peaceful face. One of the perks of being an early riser: he got to study Koichi's face while the slightly elder was still asleep. It was usually the most expressive then; if he was having a dream, the younger could tell if it was good or bad. Right now it was perfectly peaceful, and beautiful.

With a content sigh, Koji snuggled up to his twin again.

* * *

He'd almost fallen asleep again when the door opened and the light was flipped on. The younger rolled over to see their father standing in the doorway.

"Oh, you're awake," Kousei noted.

"Barely," Koji mumbled, pushing the covers off and sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Kousei chuckled at his youngest son. "Breakfast is on the table," he said and shut the door again, leaving Koji to wake up his brother.

Said twin stood up and yawned slightly, shaking off the last traces of sleep, then turned around to wake Koichi. Hopefully he wouldn't have to resort to rolling the elder out of bed again; last time it'd resulted in a rather large bump on the back of Koichi's head and Koji had felt guilty for pretty much the rest of the day.

"Koichi," the younger said, shaking the elder's shoulder lightly. No response. "Come on, Koichi," he repeated, shaking harder.

Koichi groaned softly, forcing his eyes open. "It's only 8:30…" he mumbled after his eyes finally focused enough that he could read the numbers on the clock.

"I know, but we're meeting the others this morning, remember?" Koji replied.

Koichi thought for a minute. Yeah, he did remember that. _Note to self: stop agreeing to early morning meetings,_ he thought, struggling to sit up only to have his pants and shirt flung at his face. "Thanks," he muttered sarcastically, pulling the article of clothing off his head.

Koji gave him an awkward apologetic grin, pulling off the old T-shirt that he'd worn as a nightshirt. Koichi was too tired to get mad. He pushed the blankets off, pulled off his own T-shirt, and pulled the red long sleeved shirt over his head with some difficulty as he still wasn't fully awake.

Koji smirked as he watched his brother struggle to get his arms through the sleeves. "You've got it backwards," he finally said, crossing the room back over to the bed and pulling the shirt off his brother again. Koichi didn't fight as the younger pretty much put the shirt on for him.

Koji couldn't help but find the sleepy, dazed expression on his brother's face, utterly adorable. The smirk grew wider as he leaned down and pressed his lips roughly to the elder's. Koichi, though surprised at first, returned the kiss, leaning back as Koji leaned over him, his hands sliding up and fisting in his brother's yellow shirt. The elder took the liberty of pulling the younger's bottom lip into his mouth and gently chewing on it. But Koji pulled his lip back and thrust his tongue into his twin's mouth, beginning to explore the warm and wet cave he already knew so well. Koichi pushed back against his brother's tongue, the edges of his mind still fuzzy from sleep, but growing clearer as the war of tongues raged on. As usual, Koji won, Koichi letting his tongue rest as the younger continued his exploration, plunging deeper. He ran his tongue along the roof of Koichi's mouth, earning a muffled giggled from the elder. Koji grinned in satisfaction and pulled his tongue back into his own mouth, leaning back away from his elder twin. Koichi stared back at him, admittingly disappointed that it had ended so soon.

"Awake yet?" Koji asked.

"Kinda," was the soft, still slightly groggy reply.

The younger's grin widened and he leaned closer. "I can keep this up for as long as you like," he breathed, his warm breath tickling the elder's face and causing him to blush lightly. "I'm sure the others won't mind if we're a little late."

At the moment, for the Koji to continue was exactly what Koichi wanted. He reached up and wrapped his arms around his twin's neck, pulling the younger down into another kiss. Koji decided to let his brother dominate for a while, and so didn't fight when the elder's tongue probed into his mouth. Koichi let his arms slide away from around the younger's neck until his hands were caressing the soft skin of his brother's face, his tongue busy exploring the little known crevices of Koji's mouth. To hell with the carnival or whatever they were supposed to go to today; if the two of them could just stay here exactly as they were for the rest of the day, Koichi wouldn't care one bit.

Eventually, Koji pushed Koichi's tongue back and detached their mouths, moving to kiss under his brother's jaw line. Koichi moaned softly, his hands sliding to rest on the back of the younger's neck, while said twin slid his hands up the elder's back underneath his shirt. Koji left a trail of kisses from the elder's jaw down his neck to his collarbone, his fingers tracing circles over the bare skin of his back, as Koichi continued to moan softly under his touch. The younger brought his lips back to the elder's, letting Koichi chew on his bottom lip again as his hands circled around and began teasing the skin of the elder's abdomen. Koichi's breaths were deep and controlled. Koji smirked lightly; domination was fun. And as much as he'd love to stay here dominating his brother all day, if they didn't head down for breakfast pretty soon, their parents would be coming up again to get them. And getting caught like this would not result in a pretty picture.

With a soft sigh, Koji extracted his hands from underneath the maroon shirt and pulled away from his all-too-willing-to-submit elder brother. The dazed yet disappointed look on Koichi face was proof enough of his desire to continue.

Koji forced himself to stand up again. "Come on, if we don't head down for breakfast soon, mom and dad are gonna start wondering," he explained, returning to the dresser, pulling out his black pants, and putting them on.

_Oh, right, breakfast…_ Koichi thought, realizing for the first time he was actually hungry. And then – _Wait a minute. I just made out with Koji and he was only wearing his T-shirt and boxers…?_ The elder twin sighed softly, pushing himself up again and changing his own pants.

Koji was bent down slightly, using the mirror sitting on the dresser as he pulled his hair back into the usual ponytail, his bandana held between his teeth. Koichi would often tease him about this because it did seem a little feminine, even if it was the only thing feminine about the younger. But this wasn't one of those times. Something else was pressing at the elder's mind.

"Koji, uh…"

"Hn?" was the response at the younger's eyes flickered to the elder's reflection. He finished the ponytail and took the bandana began to tie it around his head. "Yeah?" he prompted when Koichi didn't say anything.

"Um…" Three words but he couldn't seem to say them; not in the light. So he just smiled and wrapped his arms around his brother's shoulders from behind. He wanted to say it, but didn't have the courage to in the light. Only when the dark held him its embrace, did he feel safe enough. The dark would hide it; the light only exposed it, and he didn't want it to be exposed to anyone. He wanted it to stay just between them. A secret. So no one would criticize it.

Koji merely stared at the mirror for a moment, studying the reflection of his brother's face, hand resting lightly on the arm wrapped around his shoulder. He smiled slightly. "I know. I love you too."

The words were said so easily. _He_ was in his element after all. And Koichi was slightly jealous of the strength his twin drew from the light. If only they didn't have to be opposites…then maybe he'd have that courage too.

* * *

I had fun with this chapter. =3 Hmm…yummy KouKou puffs… Yes, I am definitely a [hardcore] fangirl at this point. My DA favorites should be proof of that. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, and hopefully it won't be as long until the next update.

Apparently 'admittingly' isn't a word. At the moment, I really don't care. It is now.

Review please! They make me happy! ^^


End file.
